Thursday, April 30, 2009

You know you're from Utah when..

So funny and so true....
  • You know you’re from Utah when…..
    Green jell-o with carrots mixed in doesn't seem strange.
  • You can pronounce Tooele.
  • The U is not just a letter - Neither is the Y.
  • You have actually eaten funeral potatoes.
  • You've gotten both heat and frost burns off your car's door handle in the same month.
  • You are not surprised to hear words like "Darn, Fetch, Flip", "Oh, My Heck" and "Shoot".
  • Your tulips get snowed on three times after they come up and twice more after they bloom. Hunting season is a school holiday.
  • The largest liquor store is the state government.
  • You can go skiing and play golf on the same day.
  • 30% humidity is muggy and almost unbearable.
  • Somewhere in your family tree is a polygamist.
  • You know the difference between a 'Steak House' and a 'Stake House'.
  • The elevation exceeds the population.
  • You've broken down on the highway and somebody stops to help you.
  • You can see the stars at night.
  • You have a bumper sticker that says "Families are Forever."
  • You were an aunt or uncle before you were three.
  • Your spouse's mother was pregnant at your wedding.
  • You have more children than you can find biblical names for.
  • Your family considers a trip to McDonald's a night out..
  • Your first child was conceived on your honeymoon.
  • You feel guilty when you watch Monday Night Football.
  • Your kids believe the deer hunt is a national holiday.
  • You drink Coke from a brown paper bag.
  • You consider a temple recommend a credit reference.
  • At least two of your salad bowls are at the homes of neighbors.
  • You believe that you must be 18 or older to order coffee at a restaurant.
  • You wonder why fire truck drivers honk when you drive 35 mph in the left lane on the freeway.
  • There is a similarity between a ward basketball game and the L.A. riots.
  • You think Jack Daniels is a country western singer.
  • You negotiate prices at a garage sale.
  • You can make Jell-O salad without the recipe.
  • You've heard about BYU football in a testimony meeting.
  • You have two gallons of ice cream in your freezer at all times.
  • Your father-in-law thinks Ronald Reagan was a liberal.
  • A member of your family wrote in Lavell Edwards for president in the last election.
  • Cars in the slow lane are traveling the fastest; cars in the fast lane are traveling the slowest; cars in the middle lanes are always trying to exit.
  • Sandals are the best-selling shoes.
  • You have to ask for the uncensored version of "Titanic."
  • Hotel rooms all have the Book of Mormon.
  • You buy your wardrobe at the local grocery superstore.
  • You learn about the Mormon Church by taking history in elementary school.
  • You live in a state where Democrats always come in third place, unless a zoo animal is running. Then they come in fourth.
  • You're on your own if you are turning left.
  • Schools stay open, even if two feet of snow falls overnight, but close for the opening of hunting season.
  • People wear shorts and T-shirts if the temperature rises above 32 degrees.
  • There is a church on every corner, but they all teach the same thing.
  • The most popular public transportation system is a ski lift.
  • People drive to Idaho (or Arizona) to pick up a gallon of milk so they can play the lottery.
  • In-state college football rivalries are bigger than the Super Bowl.
  • Beer drinkers don't shop on Sunday.
  • You don't have to breathe cigarette smoke until you walk outside a building.
  • The cost of living rises while your salary drops.
  • Every driveway has a minivan and a pickup truck.
  • When you buy a new vehicle, cigarette lighters are optional equipment but gun and ski racks are standard.
  • Every time a new family moves into your neighborhood, the local elementary school has to hire a new teacher.
  • Your paycheck has an additional 10 percent deduction.
  • "Temple recommends" is acceptable identification for cashing a check.
  • More movies are filmed in your town than in Hollywood.
  • You've never had a Mormon missionary knock on your door.
  • Your neighbors complain about where they live, yet refuse to return to the state they moved from.
  • You make a toast with red punch at your wedding reception.
  • You have more raw wheat stored than some Third World countries.
  • Your idea of a good time is playing Pictionary in the cultural hall.
  • Your idea of a wild party is a six pack of Pepsi and a PG-13 movie.
  • You and all your friends come to your mother for a haircut in her kitchen.
  • You measure Kool-Aid by parts per million.
  • You think "You're a 10 cow wife" is a compliment.
  • You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Utah.

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